Those Words
by BuRiChiFaN
Summary: Post-war: She had longed for him to say those words...but when he did...they weren't for her...R&R! TWOSHOTS? complete?
1. The White Moon

an: this story was somehow inspired by a random fic that i've read months ago...so this will be just twoshots but....if i'd be receiving amounts of reviews maybe i'll make it into three.....and perhaps i'll end this story with ahappy ending...

so read and review, i guess....

DISCLAIMER: i do own bleach....hehehe......jodan ne!

* * *

**Chapter I: The White Moon**

It was just recent when I realized that I was in love with him. To be honest, I never thought that I'd feel something like this for him. I never saw it coming. It was just so sudden like someone had slapped me from nowhere.

Of course, knowing myself, loving someone in a non-platonic way was an alien thing to me. I was used to looking at my male friends as just…family. We would banter, whack, and pull pranks on each other till dawn for all we cared.

I did those things with him too, naturally. Whenever he bad-mouthed my cute Chappy, a forceful kick-on-his-shin would always be my reward to him. But even though the chance of him being impotent because of that, he never failed not to hurt me back physically. My other friends would do the same anyway.

Thinking back of Kaien, he's a person who a looked up to. I really admired the man till now though. He taught me great things that had made me strong and determined. I'm not the Rukia now if it wasn't for him. I'm truly grateful of him.

I admit that Kaien resembled the man I love. I was quite shocked too, though I didn't show it, when I first laid my eyes on the latter.

At first, I was only seeing the late man through him. But as I had spent most of my time in the human world with him, I came to see him differently…the him without me remembering Kaien's smile whenever I looked into his amber eyes; the real him. It might be funny but I had preferred the latter's usual scowl more than my late mentor's signature smile.

At that time, I didn't know what I really felt for Kaien. I wasn't aware whether it was friendship or more than that. Those feelings also applied to the man I came to love. But, however, I somewhat assumed that for Kaien's part, it didn't go further.

Yes…I cried when he died. And a huge part of me also gave up. But the grief was never named not until a certain person nearly died infront of me.

Strangely enough, that certain someone, before I even found out about my real feelings for him, I was already having an inkling that deep within my heart, he's the one who filled me up.

I felt somewhat lost when he's not beside me. I searched for him whenever I noticed that his out of my eyesight. I became restless whenever our duty of hollow-killing would arrive because of so much worry for him. I was terribly afraid that he might not be able to return…back to me.

I remembered clearly that stormy night, when Aizen was about t kill him. I knew Ichigo was strong and all powerful. I trusted and had faith in him more than I can be to anyone. But that moment, I felt desperate, hopeless like it would be the very end of everything.

Blood was everywhere, the man I cherish was sprawled on the soaked ground of the Sokyouku hill, stock-still. While the traitor was above him, his untainted appearance and maniacal grin made me want to tear him apart. I could've done that anyway if I wasn't just immobile myself. I was locked into the former captain's power, restraining me from hovering over my assumed 'just friend'.

I hated myself at that time or perhaps, till now. I was helpless. I wasn't able to protect him, the very person who I had sworn to protect back.

My tears and screams of agony mingled with the presence of the falling rain. I didn't even care if I was about to die doing that: all I wanted was for him to wake up, give me that damn scowl, and live. My heart was completely falling apart as if I was dying inside and out.

The sudden joy and extreme gladness that filled me the moment he moved and showed me that he was alive only made something clear as water to me. That was when I understood the difference of my feelings bet. Kaien and the man I didn't know I love.

What I felt for the late man was just an assumed 'more than friendship'. It was just a love of a sister-to-a-brother and nothing else. But with this man who sacrificed everything for the ones he loved, I didn't dare name it…yet until a certain event happened.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

"I love you Rukia" Renji told me straight in the face. His expression was quite impassive though I felt something from him was finally set free.

I was flabbergasted for a while before I spoke. "whoa! Now where did that come from? Are you kid—" I wasn't able to continue what I was saying when he cut me off.

"I'm serious, Rukia. I've been keeping this for God-knows-how-long!" he said sternly. My eyes were downcast because I was at a loss for words.

Renji became somewhat impatient after minutes of me not responding to him. I wasn't able to because I s pondering on my relationship with him. But then…I found the right thing to say.

His face was already leaning down on mine when I looked up to him. I knew what he was trying to do so I ducked my head subtly away from his visage.

"I'm sorry, Renji. But I can't accept your feelings" I said reluctantly as he stopped himself from coming any closer. His countenance was unyielding.

'I'm really sorry for I don't wanna hurt your feelings but…I just don't really see you as something else more than a friend" I continued while my eyes rolled to meet his. I felt quite guilty and sorry for him at that.

'I know you're gonna tell me that" he finally uttered. His gaze looked away to the setting sun as mixing colors of mauve, magenta and gold ware spread across the horizon.

He glanced back at me when he noticed my guilty expression. He quickly softened his features and smirked "There's nothing to be sorry about. That's what you feel so…go on with it. Besides, I know he'll make you happy"

Now what does that supposed to mean? "what do you mean by that?...I don't have anything like that…I-I…" my words stuttered with shock.

" nah…don't play dumb. I 've known you from the start. I'm your bestfriend remember?" he declared continuously.

I, on the other hand couldn't process what he was saying. "him? You mean , I-Ichigo" I asked ultimately as I choked. A subtle blush crept on my cheek.

"Who else?" If Renji was feigning being fine, he didn't succeed. He reached for bot of my shoulders and looked at me directly in the eyes. "…and don't tell me that I'm mistaken. I can read you like an open book" he said. "…almost everyone here in soul society were aware that…" the pain in his voice became evident. "…you are in love with him, Rukia…as much as you hate to admit it."

That was enough to make the storm in my head worsen. The strange feeling that I felt for Ichigo was nothing just mere friendship. It was…it was…

"Love, Rukia, love" Renji unknowingly continued what I was saying in my head.

"But why did you confess to me if you knew about 'this' all along?" I couldn't say the magic word yet…not when I'm truly sure of it.

He answered with an arrogant grin. "I wanted to try so… there would be no regrets in the end. You can't expect me to hide this from you forever, won't you? Besides, I wanted you to see what's been obvious" he faintly said with a joke.

"A-huh" was my only reply.

**END FLASHBACK**

* * *

I was breathless as I ran. Someone told me that Ichigo was at the roof top and that's where I'm headed. The unending flight of stairs of the school had me thinking to use a shunpo but chose not to instead.

For months of contemplating on my feelings, it became evident to me of how much Ichigo meant to me. He was my 'everything' now.

Knowing that I'm finally sure of it, last night, I settled on telling him everything the next day, which happened to be this very day. Despite of his anomalous indifference to me since I returned from seiritei, I won't back down. I'll tell him that…

I love him…

As soon as arrived to my destination, I slowly opened the rooftop door. I saw Ichigo standing there…wait, he's not alone.

A familiar girl with long ginger locks was infront of him. It's Orihime. Oddly enough, I settled to just peek from the slightly opened door where they can't see me. They were talking about something which was quite incoherent for me to hear. The beating of my heart stopped and I felt like shattering from inside.

I ran away from the entrance immediately then in just a snap, I found myself on the road, outside the school. It was already raining…

I was soaked as I cried painfully. Those words that the man I love had said were still ringing in my ears.

**" I love you, Orihime"**

* * *

No time to edit so...sorry for the errors! Constructive criticisms and reviews are so much appreciated....ja!

p/s: if you want, check out my other stories too which are yet in progress!


	2. The Black Sun

a/n: why do i have an inkling that Ichigo might not end up with Rukia? was it just my pessimistic mind or does anybody share the same as me? enlighten me!

anyhow, sorry for the errors,, i'm asking you to expect them...i had a problem when to use the past and present tenses...and besides, because this is sort of a canonical continuation, i had a great difficulty in writing it...incase you're wondering, i really changed the previous title of the first chapter to make it kinda kubo-ish...hehe

the** italicized words** represent Ichigo's present thoughts...

here's the last chapter(?) actually still undecided.

**warning:** **fade to black m**ovie and **soul society arc spoilers **ahead, so if you haven't seen them, hmmmm....well,...it's up to you if you wanna read this still

**DISCLAIMER:** I DONT OWN BLEACH

* * *

**Chapter II: The Black Sun**

**I never had imagined how a single person had change my world…my entire world.**

It all began that very fateful night. I met her the first time. Frustrated and feeling helpless, she came to be my hope…no it's not just me, but to my family too.

If she hadn't come, I'm really sure that we could've died that day. And I wouldn't be able to gain such power to protect the most important people in my life. But inspite of that gain nonetheless, on her very part, it was the contrary. Because she intended to give half of her power which unexpectedly lead me into absorbing all of it, her body went feeble, loosing all her shinigami power.

But of course, I was so grateful of her, and will still be no matter what.

Well you think it ended there? Not a bit. I just found her the very next day at school then inside my closet. And from then on, she began to live with me without the knowledge of my housemates. It took months before they knew about it though.

Anyway, hollow-killing became my secret job as the consequence of her loss of ability. But well, she was the one who guided me, and let's just say sorta trained me also. With that, she did annoy me, honestly.

I don't understand why people around us kept on implying that something's goin' on between me and her. Even if I would tell them that there's none, oh well, they would always end up saying " It's obvious, no use denying it."

People are really in to prejudice.

Nonchalant as I had been, I'd choose to drop the subject off and bury it at the very depth of my consciousness. And because I don't really welcome those kind of ideas, my brain would follow my will and turn them into total oblivion.

Even so, the're moments that the thoughts would enter my mind again. And it's always because of him and his unstoppable mouth…my father (whom recently I found out to be a shinigami)

It's not like it mattered but heck! Even the midget knew how he blabbed about nonsense things like "his grandchildren" and "me being impotent". The hell I care 'bout those. He's just really a crazy old man who pulled silly antics on me and her.

But in someway, I had the feeling that all of them had a point.

_**Wait! Hell! No! what am I thinking? How could I like someone like her?**_ She's the most irritating woman I've met; a total sadist who would willingly hit anyone when it comes to badmouthing her Chappy. Unfortunately I'm one avid hater of that crap!

She said that that thing was a rabbit but for me perhaps for everyone too, it's more likely a mythical creature who resembled a cat, a dog and a mouse. I really don't know what she saw in him, to add.

About make-beliefs, she's one hell of an actress. Her tendencies to act like a poor girl just to gain the sympathy of others was so maddening. Who could blame me? People assumed that I was the bad guy even though she's the one who's doing 'evil' things. If only they knew a thing.

How her 'innocent' façade had made the worst in me, the midget surely loved it.

But despite of that, we grew closer, and our closeness turned into a friendship like no other. An unbreakable bond that defied time and space. This connection had been put to test by numerous events and through them, begun to learn her very importance to me.

* * *

Back when she was taken from the human world to be executed at soul society, that was the first time I came to know her brother, Byakuya, and her bestfriend, Renji. Considering that I wasn't yet that strong at that time, my strength was nothing against the two. I was like a trash that couldn't do anything. Just the thought of me not able to protect the very person who saved me, i couldn't help but despise myself. To add, I was the very cause of her capture. If she just didn't meet me, she wouldn't end up being in death row.

And when she threatened to not forgive me if ever i'd follow her and to just let her go, i felt utter pain in my chest. I couldn't find a way to make her stay and protect her, but instead, she did the saving again.

**It was raining to no end.**

Pain and hurt never seem to fail in coming every now and then.

I just couldn't let her leave and die. My hear- ...conscience won't take it.

As she walked in to the portal, that very moment, she glared back at me for the last time. Then the door closed. I came to realize that my attachment to her made me persevere in getting strong. Knowing that the people involved in her capture were no laughing matter, one thing only settled in my mind.

**_"I'm going to save her no matter what happens. Whether I'll die doing it, I don't care. I'd risk all for her...my precious nakama._**

* * *

She didn't fail to show that she's totally a fighter when it came to battle. She had proven herself hat she's one of a strong woman who had been fighting for what's right. And with that, I fought side by side with her.

Deep inside me, however, what I really wanted was to protect her away from harm in which she insisted that she never needed. She told me that she wanted to be by my side and not just behind. And she too promised that she'd protect me in return. Not because it's needed but because that's what she wished for.

I trusted her more than anyone else so I decided to let her. but still, with the uncertainty of war, there's this tinge of concern and fright that I might loose her. My faith in her dominated me, nevertheless, and I'm well determined that she'll stay beside me for always.

* * *

That time when her very existence was erased, I think it was the greatest trial that placed our bond to it's core.

I admit that I too forgot about her for a while. But a sudden emptiness emerged from me once it happened. I knew that somethin's missing and it felt that that thing was extremely essential in my very survival. Then in a moment, I remembered her.

Kon's memory of her didn't seem to fade at all by the way. Despite of the fact that I hated the lion plushy, he's still one of those who helped me save her. A little thanks maybe as a token of my gratitude to the mod soul.

Back to her, it wasn't easy to face all of the 13 Division's men. Not to mention their designated captain and lieutenant. Moreover, their lost memories of me and her didn't help. It made things worst.

Good thing though, with the whelp of some of them, especially, Renji, my search for the amnesiac midget didn't go in vain. I finally found her. But to my dismay and frustration, she didn't recognize me at all. She didn't know my name.

I knew it's quite unlikely of me but I went sentimental. She forgot about me…about everything. I went under depression. What good would it be without her knowing me? It's as if life's meaning would be senseless.

I didn't end up all the way being like that, even so. I came to think that my connection to her will never be broken unless none of us would remain having the other's memory.

**_But I still remember her._**

I knew that the strength of our bond won't just disappear. As long as I'm here aware f her, no event, power, nor an entity would break it.

_**And I'm going to live with that.**_

As the events unfolded, I never thought that fighting against her would ever come. She was already turning into a hollow. Her brother even stance himself to kill her but I, knowing that she'd get rid of two unwanted souls in her, I utterly refused.

Then she started to become worst. I ultimately decided to do the only way of saving her. Just like what she did in order to save and give her power, I stabbed my Zangetsu to her.

And just like how I hoped, she returned to her normal self with her memories intact. To be honest with myself, I was really restraining myself not to hug her tight. It's not like she would misunderstand it as something else more than a friendly embrace, but it's more likely that I'd be the one to think that way.

It's actually confusing, but anyway what mattered to me was that she's finally back.

* * *

I could clearly remember that rainy night at the Sokyouku Hill.i almost surrendered to death by Aizen's hands. After I gave my all to defeat him I ended up laying on the blood-and-water drenched soil, unable to stand a chance against him.

I was becoming hopeless and deeply angry and yet I kept telling myself that I couldn't just die without the assurance f my friend's safety. I knew I was the only one who could end all of it. But I was already very weak. I could barely move a muscle.

**I was as good as dead.**

My vision was blank. But nonetheless, I could hear some voices asking me not to give up. They're telling me to stand up and fight. Then I saw them; my friends, family, kaa-san, Inoue and then…that girl who means a lot to me.

**Rukia.**

Hearing her cries pained me so with that last heave of power , I managed to stand on my feet and resumed my unfinished battle which eventually lead to my victory.

**Everyone's victory**

* * *

After everything was over, the war, I decide to stay at Soul Society for the time being. The wounds I got from it were said to be fatal but thanks to Orihime, they were instantly healed.

I told Rukia that wanted her to come with me to go roaming around the said world. I liked to see if something might have changed by the recent bloody event. I couldn't find her where I told her we'd meet. Then I began my search for her.

I don't know why, but I seem to become restless when I'm not with her. I could've lost her in the war. But good thing, fate wasn't cruel to me. It didn't end up that way.

As I resumed to look for her, I found myself at the cliff, that if I wasn't mistaken, was a place both sentimental to Renji and Rukia. Strangely enough, I felt something clenched in my chest and it only pained more when I saw the subjects of my thoughts.

They weren't just there standing face to face but they were talking about serious matters in which I had an inkling that I wasn't meant to hear.

I stepped backwards subconsciously as the realization of what was about to happen occurred to me. Their faces were only inches apart…then suddenly, I held my gaze away from them as I turned on my back before I might see it.

**_I don't want to see it. Never._**

* * *

**_Wakaranai yo!_**

_I'm so confused. My mind wont stop replaying that scene. I would always plague my mind and it's terribly killing me. I returned here at the human world weeks ago so just to forget that. But to no avail, I can't._

**_I don't know why I'm feeling this way._**

_The hell I care about what they did. They're old enough to do it anyway. But why am I reacting in the most improbable way?_

**_It's so unlike me._**

Just to add to the depression that I'm feeling, that girl arrived from the other world with an odd aura on her. Though she didn't notice, she was always spacing out each time I had my glance on her. She was no doubt thinking about Renji.

_Why did she return here anyway if she only do that? She could have spent a lot more time with him in Soul Society. Sometimes really, she doesn't use her brain._

Again, I can't understand why since she came back, I had this feeling that I wanted to tell her something that I can't figure out what. I became so distant towards her because whenever I see her, I fell like I would go insane. She reminds me of her relationship with her bestfriend Renji. And I don't know why I'm hurting so much.

She was just a special comrade or so that's what I thought. I just owed her my life that's why I protected her or so that's what my oblivious mind was saying. I wasn't jealous knowing that Renji knew her best or so that's what I believed in.

I don't love her more than a friend or so that's what I kept insisting in my brain.

Those were my excuses before but now, I'm not sure anymore. My heart and soul had been betraying my mind. It's telling me that there's more into my strange relationship with her.

_**More than friends but less than lovers.**_

_How could that be? Is there as such? With all honesty. I'm totally clueless. Maybe things were really meant to turn out this way. And it wouldn't go further than that._

**_Perhaps, that's what our destiny is, that's our fate._**

* * *

Weeks came to past and still, I continued my indifference to Rukia. I'm sure she noticed it but since she had been busy having thoughts of Renji, it's possible that she didn't mind at all.

Because I don't wait for her anymore before I go to school, I arrived alone there. On my way to the classroom, I saw my friend Orihime running away.

Something about her caught my attention. Her eyes were swollen as if she was…crying? But why?

I was about to follow her way to the rooftop when Tatsuki came into view. Her visage was mingled by worry and guilt. Then I stared back where Inoue had gone.

_**Did those two had a fight?**_

" Ichigo" I unexpectedly heard my childhood friend called out to me. I acknowledged her by meeting her hesitant glare as she approached my direction at the corridor.

" …I don't have an idea if this is the right thing to do but…I want you to talk to Orihime" she said then immediately went on her heels down to the hall without giving me a chance to react.

I only stare at her figure until she was out of my sight. What she asked me to do was quite puzzling. But as I had planned to do even before she ask me to, I went after the ginger haired girl.

* * *

I wasn't wrong the first time I saw her a while ago. She was really crying. It seemed that she didn't feel my presence so I walked beside her as I viewed the entirety of the town from the rooftop. She slightly flinched, eyes wide when she finally noticed me.

" Kurosaki-kun…w-what are you doing here?" Inoue asked while she hastily wiped the tears on her face. She was sorta…blushing?

I didn't remove my sight from where it was when I answered. " Tatsuki…she told me to come here…"

"oh, I see…but you shouldn't have bothered. I mean…"

"why were you crying?" I interrupted suddenly. She turned her head down a bit, indisposed to reply. The tears that once damped her countenance began to fall again. I started to panic at that.

"Oi, I didn't mean to ask…I-I…s-stop crying now.." I required with concern while my face softened.

"…sorry if I'm like this…I just can't stop them from falling…" she said, sobbing.

I had a sudden feeling of disturbance by how she's been doing. I truly was concerned about her. I had always been. I continued to look at her while she wept.

"Kurosaki-kun.." she begun. "…did you know why Tatsuki asked you to come here?" she asked then raised her head to stare at me. I managed to shake my head indicating that I had no idea.

It took her time before she resumed to talk. I thought she was thinking hard. "…she wanted me to ask and tell you something....a-and I told her t-that…" there was tinge of ache in her voice then she went on. "…I can't…but…I suppose it would be better to do it…" her teary eyes looked way from me to the ground of the roof. "…besides, I had a feeling that I can't hide it anymore…"

I on the other hand, didn't know what to do to comfort her. What she's telling me and how she protruded were totally perplexing me. I only stood there infront of her.

What does she want me to know?

To yet another of my surprise, she stopped from crying and asked me one thing I never thought she would ever ask. She looked at me in the eye once more. Her faltering tone went firm.

"What am I to you, Kurosaki-kun?"

That was enough to make my mind still. I couldn't think clearly.

**_"How come she's asking me this?"_**

"Orihime, what are you saying? Of course you're a good friend of mine…I care…" I halted immediately when I thought she was about to cry yet again but, she didn't. she only did a smile. A smile of bitterness. The smile that I learned to give since I had that view on that cliff , of Rukia and Renji.

"I was right after all…I knew it ever since…" she said while she had that sham smile on her lips. "…and I guess, there's no use in telling it to you directly."

I gazed at Orihime intently. I wanted to know what's really bothering her. _"is she upset because I said that she's a friend? Wait! There's nothing wrong with me being her comrade…but why does she look as if she's falling apart?"_

_"or maybe…she aimed for something more than a mere friendship…but what's more to that? Is it that thing they called love? the non-platonic one? Is she in love with me? No, I guess not. However, if that's the case then perhaps we are only the same. But no! it's not as if I'm in love with someone else. I don't know what love is…certainly not. I'm not capable of that. But how come I thought that Orihime and I are the same?"_

**_"Is my unexplainable pain with the frequent idea of Rukia and Renji together had something to do with this?"_**

_" I don't know but this isn't the time to be thinking of her. Not now that I still needed to consider this girl infront of me."_

* * *

Inoue was a girl whom I wanted to protect too. As far as my mind is concerned, I'm sure Uryuu told me that I went berserk saving her from an Espada. I'd still be clueless bout the whole thing if he didn't tell me.

Anyway, back to her, I thought of her as ashy but cheerful girl. I didn't know a single thing about her before. But as I spent quite a time with her, specifically during our rescue of her in Hueco Mundo, I saw a side of her that I thought she possessed already from the start. Meaning, my first impression of her was a tad…accurate if you might say that.

She's kind, innocent and had a big heart that I somehow imagined how it fitted in her ladylike frame. Surely she didn't seem to be strong as any Shinigami woman. But her resolve and determination to be able to fight for the ones she loved had me grow a respect to her.

When I heard about he 'betrayal' to join the Espada, I couldn't believe it. I never did actually. If others thought of her as one, definitely not I. Hurt was what I experienced by that, furthermore.

I knew she had a reason on why such thing happened. Besides, she wouldn't do something like that only because she felt like doing it. I was a positive person towards her and I'll continue to be.

And about that berserk story, before I went that way, I was dying. I assumed it would be my last. But when my aim 'to protect her' enveloped my very being, I saw the strength again and found myself standing up but nonetheless, the rest, as I've mentioned, I wouldn't know if Uryuu didn't tell me. That didn't matter anyway. I was able to save her; She's worth the risk and…

**That's all I need to know.**

* * *

I called Orihime to meet me this day here at the rooftop, in which she obliged. Her question yesterday had me sorting out my feelings towards her. My answer was alittle spur of the moment and I didn't have the time to know what she's really to me. But with a lot of thinking last night, I finally arrived to one conclusion. However, uncertainty was still there that's kind of inevitable. I sighed as I stood infront of her.

_"this is what I must do because this is how I truly feel"_

I rolled my eyes to meet Orihime's. and as I looked at her, I saw emotions that resembled things like…acceptance and contentment. I chose to ignore it though and initiated in moving my lips to release those words…

**"I love you Orihime."**

* * *

ending note!:

gosh! to be honest with you guys, Bleach is not like any anime i've seen...with the progress of the story, if you'll consider the love angle, things are becoming unpredictable....i don't know anymore if Ichiruki will happen...it's like ichihime's a grave threat to it....and mind you, i never liked ichihime but again, though i hate to admit it, it's possibility is so high.....

i hope it won't turn out that way, of course...

**Important note!:**

as i've mentioned, i'm unsure whether i'll end this fic here...but if you guys wanted the real ending of this, i'd gladly oblige to post the **3rd and real last chapter....**

**QUESTION: do you want me to continue it or i'll just leave it this way? tell me what you think...**

**next chapter title** (if ever): **In Accordance With Fate**


End file.
